love, beeping, bleeping
Sunday, November 22, 2009 @ 12:59 PM
And if you think, for one second that I might be the sceptical, hypocritical, overtly distorted type, then I suggest you are wasting your time reading this post. In fact, go retreat to your fairytale corner and sob over some romance you might be having. But if you are open, to opinions, ideas, and a new horizon, then stay and read on.
P.S. This is not a rant. I'm not some twisted person who's never found love. Clearly, I'm not afraid and I'm real. So, let's examine this from the practical point of view shall we?
Our topic today is..... *drum roll* .... Can you find love online?
Love? To know where to find it, we need to know what it IS, per se. The definition of love, and I'm not about to give you some wiki-ed version of the word. Phooey. HAH. Stupidity and practicalityTHAT is, not feelings. Okay, so.
That said, all of this shiz is subjective, heck I hate using that word. It's so denominal and discriminatory. Just because someone's opinion is different doesn't make you right. And that's true. But you should also lay off all that prejudice. (Anyone who uses that word clearly believes that they are right and others wrong, they just want to appear saintly. Okay lah, everyone who uses that word EXCEPT me) Even anyone can see, you should be standing on the precipice. If neccessary, defending what's right for you but never, ever wound the pride of someone else just because their opinion doesn't match yours. It's not a game of memory (you know the cards, and you flip them open to test your intellectual capacity) but a game of dice. Luck, my friend, is what gets you further.
Okay, back to point. Love is subjective (grimace; because I'm using that word again) , but it is also WILD and THRILLING. Screw you, You. Have. Not. Lived. IF you're never fallen for someone. Then again, is it really possible to fall for someone you've never met?
I THINK NOT!
I dunno what got me coming up with this post is in fact, not thinking about relationships in general, I was thinking about, reaction time. Blame Alex Rider, he's got me being a spy now. Basically, we all know that body language plays a very important role in human interaction. Communication, is done 60% by body language alone, and subconciously (and this is a fact) you read the signs before thinking of your response. Clearly, this is going to influence your reaction. Humans CALCULATE. The risks and benefits, they weigh before saying a word. So, they're genetically programmed to be aware of their surroudings and READ body language, gauging an idea from the slightest leaning of the knee, the sweat beads on the upper lips, the crooked half-smile...That is what makes them so cautious.
But say you're face-to-face.
Ideally (not), we have X who meets Y on the street and they are merely business aquaintances. X is an up-and-coming lawyer who graduated from Brown, has been going out with his girlfriend Mary Desmond for nine years, whom he met in college. Mary's a veterinarian who has bad choice in clothes and always smells of dog shampoo. Y is a toothy blonde accountant of the firm Smiths & General who manages X's finances, taken over from his old finance manager, Bert Robbins, who retired in June. X has only seen Y once five weeks ago, having gone into Smiths & General's office to drop off his Happy Retirement card for Bert. A card, because X has been really cheapskate recently since the economic downturn. He's sure Bert will appreciate the gesture because Bert knows exactly how many pennies left in his bank balance. The conversation is as follows:
X: Hey.
Y: Hi! (sees coffee cup in X's hands) I didn't know you were fond of this place. (eyes Blackberry in his hand that has a screensaver of two people holding hands)
X: Ah, (rubs hands on back of neck) well, it's just round the corner from where I work, so...
Y: I see.
(At this point, X feels all confident, doesn't mind showing off because he is wearing a $300 shirt, nevermind that it's got that curry stain)
X: You know what, lemme buy you a drink, let's have a chat.
(Y lowers eyes, unsure)
X: Come on, just a coffee.
Y: Alright. (smiles complacently)
Later, X sits opposite Y on small table. She tilts her head, observing the unruly hair, bad shave and smelling his slightly rotten stench of stale cigarettes) . He loosens his tie, keeping eye contact, telling lame jokes.
X: So, babe, wanna go out tonight?
Y: Sorry, no can do. (walks out)
Okay, so let's leave this scene for a while, we'll come back. But, moving on to next scene.
Same characters. X is sitting in front of his laptop, chatting with contacts and researching information. In the next room is his girlfriend, Mary, watching Oprah and crying very loudly (Almost as loud as the TV) X is irritated but doesn't let his frustration show. Then, Y pops up in his chat. On impulse, he clicks open.
X: Hey
Y: Hi
X: Let's cut to the chase here
Y: yes?
X: Wanna go out at seven tonight?
Y: Depends, where're you gonna take me?
X: Uptown.
Y: ?
X: To a nice little place called The Cantina
Y: I'm in
X: Nice. Pick you up at 8.
Y is offline. X is offline.
Okay, so that's just one of the many ways that happens. In Scene 1, X and Y are actually physical representatives of themselves. But in Scene 2, reaction time is delayed by a whopping many seconds. I mean, you don't actually see things as they are. X, the @r$e, could be digging his nose in front of the computer screen for all Y knows! All Y sees is that he's a stud. She doesn't even know he's got a girlfriend. Therefore, she's going out with him. This is not an example of reaction time though. It's an example of appearance and what it can actually mean to look at one person long enough to realize their flaws. But sometimes, you can't do that. Sometimes, you can't see the bad, heck, it's hard to do that even when you look into the mirror occasionally. What happens though, when you've never set an eye on that person? First appearances are key. Although they may prove you wrong, in some instances, they also give you a valuable thing - judgement through gut instinct. And history, my dear friend, and also common sense, tells you NEVER to devalue your instinct, however absurd.
But online, you can be a victim, not in the literal sense, but it's very elastic, that word. I mean, online, you're supposed to formulate how you look, how you talk.
"If I want to seem more attractive, I don't go out and buy a new dress or get a haircut. I simply change my MySpace picture. It's how it works nowadays."
-He's Just Not That Into You
It's all frankly artificial, because you're presenting a side of yourself calculated to give a positive reaction from your peers, but might be untrue. (Author's note: Well, at least words don't lie right? You can always tell a person from how he writes. That's real.)
Not that I don't revel in it sometimes, but everyone who's seen my Facebook profile picture has seen me in real life. Heh. And for the record, I don't edit my pictures! They're just really good angles! (I think) But enough about me, let's get back to online love.
Online love, I mean, if in any case you do know each other as passing "hi-bye" sorta friends then you can, in fact foster a relationship based on social networking sites, instant messaging and texting alone. But like I said, reaction time is DELAYED so you have more time to think, then you have more time to calculate your risks and tip the scale to artificially sow the seeds and create a desired response by a member of the opposite sex. You can say what you want and not have your eyes lie.
Therefore I think it's impossible. But if you can do it, then I salute you.
*disclaimer: Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or if real, used thoughtfully. All statements, activities, stunts, descriptions, information and material of any kind contained herein are included for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for ultimate accuracy or replicated as they may result in injury.