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I love that pretentious shiz where you tumblr and listen to indie music and wear ohmazing clothes all day reading Kafka and philosophy like that. But half the time real life catches up with me and YES i do listen to indie music and tumblr and wear shirts as dresses but I also wanna learn how to rap and play chess and wake up early. I know, I'm indecisive like that, yo. Life's pretty boring and amazeballs, making me confused and sleepy half the time, but I party well awake at three in the morning 'cause that's how I live. Oh, did i mention, I happen to love curry mee? And pop culture references are awesometastic.

Yeah, I’m a dreamer!



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© shanancute

by me (magenta)

Saturday, July 25, 2009 @ 3:41 AM

You make me feel like walking in the storm, too far out in the dark,
You are a thousand sunsets gone the shade of grey and the closing of central park.
It's ironic how you linger, barely leaving a trace of last december
Then I recall though, I've never seen you in one.

You're insisting on a gesture you have yet to leave me,
But YOU are the one who's got all the grand plans,
All the blueprints and the maps unwritten in the sand,
Instead etched in your soul.

You are going, going
to a place with no more beginnings
for the world with you and me and our somedays
To a place where there's no time
to make up for the loss of it
I'd never suffer now,
but one day I will sit and ponder
sit and stare out at the clouds that leap over the sun and the same sky we're
Where did the end begin?

Cookie moderation (stop me from eating too much)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 @ 6:31 AM

I hate cliches and I'm not about to write a long post with carefully veiled details about you. I'm not about to tell the world how I'm misery personified, and it's not your fault. I'm sorry, I know it's a bit too late. This time, nothing can be the same? Oh, I'm starting to sound like a Harry Potter Movie Trailer. I mean, someone STOP ME. I'm rambling again. =D
Oh, you know I despise it when people go on and on and on about some guy and in the end you don't figure what they are talking about and/or who the person they've been going on a ramble spree IS. Which makes all the sense in the world. And that is WHY, dear readers, on my concern for your welfare and reading pleasure, I am not going to do that. Didn't I just say, it's utterly boring?



He was jealous, worried and tender,
Like God's sun he loved me.
He killed my white bird
to stop it singing of the past.

Coming into the room at sunset, he said:
"Love me, laugh, write poetry!"
I buried the happy bird
beyond the round well near the old alder tree.

I promised him not to cry
But my heart turned to stone,
and it seems like always, and everywhere,
I will hear its sweet voice.

i promise i'll be less melancholic next time round.

im not a bad person. check it out.

Friday, July 3, 2009 @ 1:08 AM

I have. . . (a point for each one)

1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol.
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
5. kissed someone of the same sex.
6. had sex.
7. had someone in your room other than family.
8. watched porn.
9. bought porn.
10. tried drugs.

1. taken painkillers.
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. felt hurt.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die.
10. seen someone die.

1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. received a ticket.
6. been to rehab
7. dyed your hair.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar

1. been to a wild party.
2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything
6. wore black nail polish
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. owned a 50 Cent CD.

1. dressed gothic
2. dressed girly.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor.

1. had a crush on a friend.
2. been to a concert.
3. dry-humped someone.
4. been called a slut.
5. called someone a slut.
6. installed speakers in your car.
7. broken a mirror.
8. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
9. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.

1. owned/rented an apartment/house.
2. broke the law in the police's presence.
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed.
10.been verbally harassed.

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
10. cheated on a test.

Grand Total: 33

If You Have Less Than 10.. write [im a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10.. write [im still a goody goody]
If You Have more Than 20..write [im average]
If You Have More Than 30..write [im a bad kid] -
I am most definitely not a bad kid! Look at my score! What in the name of God's blue striped pajamas is bad about that?
If You have more than 40..write [im a very bad influence]
If You Have more than 50..write [im a horrible person]
If You Have more than 60..write [i should be in jail]
If You Have more than 70..Write [i should be dead]

Without You - Adrian Henri

Thursday, July 2, 2009 @ 6:27 AM

Without you every morning would feel like going back to work after a holiday,
Without you I couldn't stand the smell of the East Lancs Road,
Without you ghost ferries would cross the Mersey manned by skeleton crews,
Without you I'd probably feel happy and have more money and time and nothing to do with it,
Without you I'd have to leave my stillborn poems on other people's doorsteps, wrapped in brown paper,
Without you there'd never be sauce to put on sausage butties,
Without you plastic flowers in shop windows would just be plastic flowers in shop windows,
Without you I'd spend my summers picking morosely over the remains of train crashes,
Without you white birds would wrench themselves free from my paintings and fly off dripping blood into the night,
Without you green apples wouldn't taste greener,
Without you Mothers wouldn't let their children play out after tea,
Without you every musician in the world would forget how to play the blues,
Without you Public Houses would be public again,
Without you the Sunday Times colour suppliment would come out in black-and-white,
Without you indifferent colonels would shrug their shoulders and press the button,
Without you they's stop changing the flowers in Piccadilly Gardens,
Without you Clark Kent would forget how to become Superman,
Without you Sunshine Breakfast would only consist of Cornflakes,
Without you there'd be no colour in Magic colouring books,
Without you Mahler's 8th would only be performed by street musicians in derelict
Without you they'd forget to put the salt in every packet of crisps,
Without you it would be an offence punishable by a fine of up to £200 or two months'
imprisonment to be found in possession of curry powder,
Without you riot police are massing in quiet sidestreets,
Without you all streets would be one-way the other way,
Without you there'd be no one to kiss goodnight when we quarrel,
Without you the first martian to land would turn round and go away again,
Without you they'd forget to change the weather,
Without you blind men would sell unlucky heather,
Without you there would be no landscapes/no stations/no houses/no chipshops/no quiet villages/no seagulls on beaches/no hopscotch on pavements/no night/no morning/
there'd be no city
no country
Without you.

Happy Birthday!

@ 3:21 AM

Dear Kitinan, you know I'm writing this post so you wont ever see it (hehe) Anyways,Happy Birthday to my only brother in the whole wide world! I know I know I'm four days late, but I did call you right? And wanna hear the worst bit? I'm still waiting for somefink from Japan but I guess you being you forgot. Ha. I hope u freeze your pants off in Aussie. Hohoho. See, me being little sister #1 I have also chosen a song that reminds me of you. Why? Because only you can sing it and make it horrid. =D I'm joking! Yes. You're awesome and you know it...but I'm telling you BECAUSE I know you'd like to hear it. Ok fine, I'll find a better picture of you. My dearest brother (who bugs me, steals my snacks, etc.) He thinks he's so cool. Problem is, he IS.

It's being happy

@ 2:03 AM

Here's another thing to add to your bucket list: You haven't lived if you've never worn pajamas at 5 in the evening.
There's something utterly worry-free about that. I guess it's like comfort food...like raiding the fridge at 2 am on a Satuday night looking for chocolate, or hot cocoa on a lazy rainy day.

It's like this...
And it all started with a sweet, then another and another.

Okay, judge me not by the sweet wrappers in the basket. Judge me also NOT by the amount of confectionery I have been gobbling up these few days. Or my tendency to make chocolate pose with a book just so u can SEE I've at least been studying. Haha. Notice that chocolate bar though? It's 72% cocoa dark chocolate. And I had TWO of those. Ohmigosh I am such a glutton. To my horror as well, my first thought when the exams were over was to BLOG (resuscitate it anyhow) not to JOG, which even my deep subconcious agrees, seeing as, it IS (notice the present tense) a routine, that I have managed to forget. Thank you so much Kun Huat for the Charms Sour Balls, they were yummy. Oh, and since you might think I'm preaching the goodness of having sweets, here's just a reminder what sugar can do to you. Well, me. *can be for further reference*
Don't I look crumpled?

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